Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2014 Review

This is one of my favorite posts to write each year, because I'm always a little surprised that "Oh, that happened this year?" Although I feel like this year has gone by very fast, with many changes involved, seeing evidence of what's happened each month has slowed it all down a little in my mind. 
Just like last year, I've included a picture of Carson and I from each month. 

January 2014

February 2014
Lots of snow

March 2014
I turned 25 and had a black and white party. Everyone looked like they were attending a funeral.
It continued to snow
Birds invaded
I had my third miscarriage. No post.

April 2014

Snow fell for the last time on April 15, the day they arrived. I wrote it down because it felt like a day of celebration.

May 2014
Evan and Heather moved in and we all lived together in a state of flux for three weeks.
Packing began, and it was hard.

June 2014
Moved to Florida
Carson's summer semester began and I began work, one and three days post move, respectively
(this remains one of the dumbest decisions I've ever made)
Went to the beach!

July 2014
Went to Ocala for 4th of July
Bought a car!
Carson went rafting in Idaho
Morgan visited Tallahassee

August 2014

 Went back to Cleveland for Lana and Mark's wedding
Fall Semester began for Carson
I went to Beaufort for Brooke's baby shower.

September 2014
Jillian visited
I went to Beaufort with Morgan
Attended Clemson/FSU game

October 2014
Went to the beach - couldn't do this in Cleveland in October!
Officially found a church!

November 2014

My parents visited
Thanksgiving in Beaufort

December 2014

Day trip to Charleston (planning a real trip for 2015)
Beaufort for Christmas!

2014 was a year that I can't really describe well, even though we've reached the end of it. On the one hand, it was very, very fun, as we explored Cleveland, got more involved with our church, and did lots of things with friends. Furthermore, Carson finished his master's program with a 3.9 GPA (and yes, he was bummed that it wasn't higher). We moved to Florida! We live closer to family now!
But on the other side of the coin, the part without pictures because there really isn't a way to photograph life as you live it, there was the difficulty of leaving a place and a church family that you truly love, and the weird adjustment once you get to the new place. We feel like we are still in a stage of transition now, and it's been over six months since we moved.

2014 was a year of the unexpected. When we decided to move to Florida, it was last minute. We'd been planning on staying in Cleveland and we are still almost sure that there was no "right" decision and that we could have been really happy if we'd stayed. When we announced we were leaving, it surprised our friends as well as us, because for the last few months, we'd told people it was almost certain that we'd stay.

Personally, it's been hard. I hate to leave this on a downer, but when we began the year, I once again thought that we'd be ending it either pregnant or with a baby. That didn't happen. Once again, we lost a sweet baby in the spring, and when the fall rolled around and the due date arrived, it was hard. It was a quieter version of the other two losses because I'd processed a lot of those emotions before, but in some ways more difficult because there were tests and doctor's visits and questions that couldn't be answered medically. And then there were of course the bills from the doctor that made checking the mail a constant reminder. Ugh. Emotionally, 2014 has been a huge drain. There were high highs and low lows. It was good, and it wasn't.
For whatever reason, through it all, I've never doubted that God is good. He knows what the future holds, and I hold that dear to my heart. If 2015 holds great friends, wonderful memories, and a baby, it would be wonderful. But God isn't just good because He gives us what we want. I wish that were the way it works, but He is deeper than that. I hope and pray that 2015 is a year where we know Him deeper, and while I hope it holds fewer tears and more of what I'd like to happen, I really just hope we end 2015 closer to Him. 


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