Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Living Without Regret: Thoughts From a Not-So-Great Hiking Experience

A few weeks ago, I climbed a mountain instead of studying for finals.

One of my friends called the night before and asked if I'd like to go hiking. I said yes, knowing that I had absolutely no need of hiking as it was the last study day before finals. After I made the commitment, I began to have regrets.

Hiking? REALLY, Lindsay? That's YOUR tuition money going to waste.

Half of me really wanted to go; the other half thought it would be wise to stay. Both sides came up with plenty of reasons why I should or should not stay home and study. In the end, of course, I went.

So, the mountain. It definitely reminded me of a hill, since it was grassy and warm. But it seemed mountainous because of the pine trees gathered near the top in the lingering snow and because of how steep it was. I began to wish the side of my brain that wanted to stay at home had won, because the "hike" I had envisioned now looked like more of a climb... going straight up the side of a mountain with no path. I wasn't excited anymore and sort of hoped to be able to stay behind and babysit the car.

Anyway, I got out of the car and pretended to be excited about the prospect of tumbling straight down the steep mountain, hitting a rock, and being unconscious for a really long time. But hey, at least not studying wouldn't matter anymore!

I felt like dying approximately 3.46 seconds into the journey. From the pace we were going, everyone else must have grown up near mountains; I grew up on a golf course. It's not comparable. My legs were screaming, my head hurt, things scratched up my legs... I was now in a very bad mood.... and then we walked through a cloud of bugs. Little ones that were very annoying and got in my nose.

The trip pretty much went like that. I didn't voice my lack of enjoyment in the process but inside, I was feeling the exact opposite of the happy smile plastered on my face. I ended up stopping about halfway up the mountain. All but one other person made it to the top (we're both from flat places without much climbing experience).

When I turned around to go down the mountain (a prospect I was very excited about), I stopped. It was beautiful. I probably throw that word around a lot but really, there was quite a view. The sky was bright blue, only a few clouds, and you could see for miles. There were green hills (other mountains) covered in trees, a body of water glistening in the sunshine. I took a picture but it didn't do it justice.

Looking at that gorgeous sight I got a lump in my throat. I truly wish I had enjoyed the rest of the hike because I had absolutely nothing to complain about. I not only wasted "precious study time" but I wasted enjoying that day. It could have been a really good opportunity to see God's handiwork in creation and thank Him for it but I didn't.

So I thought:
I don't want my life to be like my hike up the mountain was. I want my life to be completely not about me so that when I'm living life, I'm not focusing on myself and my little hurts and things that are making me uncomfortable. Because how horrible would it be to look back when I get really old (or not so old, but at the end of my life) and think, "Wow, that's beautiful, but I have so many regrets that I can't fully enjoy this. I didn't earn it."

At least you can move on from mistakes... because next time I climb a mountain, I intend to be happy about it. If I can't be happy about it, I won't go; I'll study :)

A life without regret because I lived it to the fullest? Yes.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Back in the South

I'm home! I got back last Sunday night and have been enjoying a rather slow week at home. It all feels a little surreal to think that I was across the country not too long ago but it's great to be back.
Scott and I were a little bored tonight so we took some candids in my room and on my porch... Oscar decided to join in also (bottom left corner).

Anyway, it's good to be back!
Thoughts and such coming soon :)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


first roommate.
likes the color green.
and polka dots.
dances and bounces all the time.
sleeps with the light and iPod on.
likes action movies.
can fix almost anything in the apartment.
from arizona.
lover of twix bars.
resident chef.
bunk mate.
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