What May or May Not Be

Uncertainty has GOT to be the pattern for every person's life. It certainly can't be just us.

In the next six months (less than that, but I'd rather not think about it), we may or may not be here.
Here, in this apartment,
here, in this city,
here, in this state,
here, on this side of the country
(pretty sure we'll be in this country, but you never know, I guess).

So many things are supposed to happen before then that sometimes I don't think it will possibly work out. Before we may or may not move, these things are supposed to happen:
Start and finish last semester of college.
Graduate.
Internship. Six weeks overseas.
Pack.
Move. Possibly during internship. Scary.

And then more things:
Find a new church, make new friends, get to know a new place, find a job, Carson starting grad school.

In two months, we will probably know where and most likely even when this change will take place. We'll see the puzzle pieces come together. Our questions will have answers and decisions will be made. Though money probably won't grow on trees, our needs will be met.

Our life is in the Lord's hands.
That's both reassuring and scary, if I'm being honest. He's got it and I trust Him but still I want to make sure everything's under control. In so many ways I'm like a little child. I know He knows it all and has it figured out but sometimes I doubt the sovereignty of God in my mind, which is probably where it counts the most.

So for the next couple of months, we wait. It's our only choice; a perfect one for two impatient people. Keeps us reliant. Keeps us praying.

I realized today that the "next step" isn't to go to grad school or whatever is to come in the distant future but to trust God now. That should always be our response to Him.

No matter what may or may not be.