Becca's Wedding, Part Two

The morning of the wedding was bright and clear. There were only fluffy white clouds in the sky, the humidity wasn't suffocating, and birds were singing. It was a beautiful day. I woke up early to do a few wedding things before we dashed off in the car to Savannah to get ready.

Once we arrived, I noticed that Becca's wedding countdown had changed. 

And her dining room became full of pins, hairspray and curling irons.

It took a few tries to get her hair just right, but in the end she claimed to love it. Becca's tastes are so different from mine and I was worried that her hair would look like something I'd like and not something she loved. She tried to say that she loved it the first time, but Meagan wiggled the truth out of her and we started over. It was messy and sort of natural, but perfect for her. In the back, we put a dogwood pin that used to belong to Thomas' grandmother, the perfect "something old". 

Sometimes we look so alike that I see a picture of her and think it's me, sometimes we couldn't look more different. This day, we definitely looked the latter. Isn't she beautiful? 

There were a few hours between the getting ready and the getting married. The bride and bridesmaids took pictures in a park before the wedding, then went off to the church to relax before the ceremony. We sat there, got water, talked, and finally prayed with my parents before the time came to walk down the aisle. 

I loved the music they chose for the ceremony. It was by Fleet Foxes, whom I hadn't heard of before, but the instrumental versions especially (they had a guitarist) were beautiful and perfect. 

Becca was so calm before the wedding and right before she was SO excited. I was amazed at how surreal it felt to give her a hug before I walked down the aisle. For the first time, I felt like I could understand why people cry at weddings. 

When the doors opened and everyone stood for her entrance, Becca started to laugh. She was the happiest bride I think I've ever seen. She beamed down the aisle and started walking pretty fast, dragging dear old Dad along with her. 

 The ceremony went off without a hitch. The rings were present and accounted for (I wore Thomas' on my thumb), the vows (borrowed from her friend Meagan's wedding) were perfect, and suddenly, they were Mr and Mrs Mole! There was a kiss and then they beamed down the aisle. When we walked out after them, Thomas was telling Becca how beautiful she looked and how much he liked her dress, giving her a big hug. I think it was surreal for them too ;)

After the ceremony came pictures, of course. Carson took some while the real photographer was at work.

This was my brother's boutonniere. He found this dead dragonfly and added it. It's so him. The boutonnieres, by the way, have chicken feathers on them - how creative!

There were bridal party pictures taken in the park (Carson came too because I didn't think to secure a ride of my own, but he did get fun pictures, huh?).
Dresses:  Meagan's: Modcloth; Mine: Vera Wang White by David's Bridal; Jennifer's: Made by my mom!

And then we arrived at the reception. I don't have terrific pictures of the couple, because I was busy greeting family I hadn't seen since our wedding. But the reception details were so fun!

There was grilled chicken, wild rice pilaf, fruit, black bean salad, caprese salad and bread. So good! I ate like a barbarian. By that, I mean that I hadn't had time to eat much earlier in the day and I wasn't putting food into my mouth in a ladylike manner.

The cake. It was so Becca. That's one thing I kept hearing the whole night, "It's so Becca!" everything really was. Definitely reflected her in so many ways.

There wasn't supposed to be dancing other than B+T's first dance, but they'd chosen upbeat music for the reception and people couldn't help themselves, so there was dancing after all. I'm pretty sure someone else took over the music toward the end though, since "Cupid Shuffle" doesn't seem a very likely reception song unless dancing is intended. In other words, people really enjoyed themselves at this wedding. 

They got ready to go as the dancing wound down, said their goodbyes (everyone filed past them, hugging as they left before the grand exit, which was kind of fun)

And then they were off! 

Click here for many more wedding pictures.

Becca's Wedding, Part One

We arrived in Beaufort at about 10pm on Wednesday, three days before the wedding. I stayed up until 1am talking with Mom and doing various wedding related activities, mainly writing a sign proclaiming the order of events for the wedding. 

 On Thursday morning, I got up and practiced Mom's hair for the wedding. At 9am, I headed over to Emily's, where she showed off her Mary Kay skills and gave me a facial. It was fun and something we've never done before. We went downtown after that and met Ms. Stephanie for coffee at Common Grounds. At noon, I said goodbye and headed over the bridge to Ladys Island, where I had lunch with Grandmama. We chatted and reminisced and discussed outfits for upcoming weddings. Then I was off to Savannah. It was a busy day. 

When I got to Becca's, this is what I saw:

She and her good friend Meagan had spent the entire day decorating and baking in preparation for the shower that evening. The house smelled full of baking things... and then burning things, because the poor cookies in the oven were forgotten in my arrival. In any case, it was festive and fun inside.

At six, Becca's friends arrived. There was small talk as we sat around in the cozy living room. One friend suggested that we each share one thing that we love best about Becca. I was at a loss there. Not because I couldn't think of anything, but because I feel like I know a different Becca.

Before I go any further, allow me to explain. I haven't seen my sister in almost two years (and it's been over four years since we claimed the same address), and in the time that's passed, she's moved to a different place, made friends whom I've heard about but never met, and begun a life as the same person, but she's also changed. I knew this, of course, but as people arrived and greeted her and said things about her heart and her personality, I realized that they've seen my sister as she's grown up. I know the Becca that I grew up with. I remember her quirks, like never ever wearing shoes, and the fifty stuffed animals she slept with every night. I know more about her from our emails than I do from her in real life these days.

That's why I didn't know what to say. There was so much to say, and no way to say it. But basically, I was overwhelmed during the weekend - even though I was her matron (ugh, hate that word) of honor, I was struck by how little I knew this person who had become a WOMAN in the time since I'd last seen her. This should be its own post, clearly.

Anyway, there was also a sort of game where Meagan had asked Thomas questions about his relationship with Becca. Instead of making her guess his answers, we listened to Becca's own answers and then heard Thomas'. After that, gifts. This was a personal shower, so there aren't going to be any of those pictures shared here :)

Meagan and I spent the night with Becca. I was really tired, so I did what I tend to do when I'm really tired - talk a mile a minute. My poor sister. She probably wanted to throw something at my head, but she politely yawned as a hint instead. 

The next morning, Becca frosted her wedding cake. When we were planning our wedding, Carson and I talked about making our cake, but were talked out of it because we'd "be too stressed"... while that was probably true for us, it wasn't for Becca. She frosted away like it was no big deal. 

Once the cake was completed, Becca was adorned with this star crown and we headed off for lunch. We went to Green Truck, which is just down the street from her house and a favorite spot.

I think you can see why.

Lunch completed, we went to a place to paint pottery. Becca chose a plate, Meagan a vase, Jennifer a leaf plate and I a spoon rest. It was relaxing and neat to see so many different ways of painting each piece. The colors were also much more muted than they'll be once the pieces are fired, so that too will be a nice surprise.

After we'd painted, we went over to the church to set up tables, but Thomas had just finished doing it when we arrived. So we went back to the house and got ready for the rehearsal instead. Carson took a lot of pictures of that, but here are just two.

Next up: The wedding!

Going to the Chapel

My little sister is getting married today. We'll be going to the chapel in just a few hours for her to marry Thomas.

Instead of eloquent words (which I'm out of in such occasions), I'd like to share with you a passage that I shared during my speech at the rehearsal dinner, a prayer for Becca and Thomas.

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory, He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God".
-Ephesians 3:14-19

Becca, I pray that your marriage is long and full and sweet with the blessings of our Savior. We're finally here, on your wedding day. I'm not sure that I have the words to say. There are so many memories and sentimental things floating around in my head today that I just can't think of the right thing. But I pray for you and for your new husband as of 4:00 this afternoon. I can't wait to stand beside you today, and to witness you marrying the man of your dreams. You've become such a lovely person, inside and out. I know that sounds so cliche, but it's very true. I've seen you grow as a person and blossom into a woman of God. I pray that this is only the beginning of a lifelong love for the Lord, and a lifetime together of serving Him.
All my love,
Lindsay

The new Mr. and Mrs. Mole

The Backyard

I realized that our last picture together was the one that we took at Mount Rushmore, so here's a picture from Ohio. We haven't changed so much (except that the humidity is affecting my hair... grrrr...) since we moved here four weeks ago. This is our little backyard (cropped so you don't see the ugliness and the fact that it's all dead grass and weeds) and our tiny back porch, which we love.

It's Been Three

The summer has been so long. It feels like a million things have happened in the few months since I graduated. If I were to use just one word to describe the summer as a whole, I'm not sure if I would use "crazy" or just "difficult". It's been both.

Today, it's been three months since my miscarriage.

The move was an excellent distraction. I got totally caught up in goodbyes and packing and three full days of driving, then unpacking and finding a job and getting settled. But as I settle in more and more, I have fewer things keeping me busy. For one, we know a small handful of people here, not the large circle of friends we kept in Spokane. Two, Carson is gone most of the day and I work unpredictable hours. This gives me lots of time to think.

And today, my thinking has been about our baby.

I'm sad today, thinking back to three months ago. That was easily the worst day of my life; every day since then has been progressively better. I'm healing today, thanks to the blessings of time and perspective.

But it still hurts.
Not too long ago, I was in line at Target. I heard the squeaky cry of a newborn baby and buried my head in Carson's arm, crying. As happy as I am for the friends and relatives who've recently announced pregnancies, I get a lump in my throat. I've cried more tears in the past three months than I can remember crying in any other period of my life.

We've been so blessed by the people around us that I can't end on a "this is so sad" sort of note. Because while I am sad, I am still amazed by how the Body of Christ has wrapped its arms around us. Simple emails, letters, phone calls, Facebook messages, comments on the blog have amazed me. Stories from other women have encouraged me. People have come up, hugged my neck, and prayed for us in church. Two friends brought brownies and flowers.

I've been amazed by all the giving that has happened in our lives because of this. We have been so blessed, so encouraged, so in awe of what Jesus is doing in His church. I wouldn't have seen that if not for this, so while I'm not glad that it happened, God has given us great encouragement as a result.

The healing is going to take awhile, and I'm pretty sure it will never be complete, but even in the face of this storm, we have seen God's goodness. We eagerly wait the day that we will see our sweet child's face.

I can't imagine heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
Heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know
All you'll ever know

From Glory Baby, by Watermark

For Granted

(written 15 June 2012)

No matter what would have happened, our baby belonged to the Lord and not to us.

It's easy to think that you have control of a situation, even if in the back of your head, you know God has it all in His hands. I'm sure parents are reminded that their children are in God's care and not theirs constantly and have to trust God to protect and lead their kids after His ways. But I'm sure that they forget too. In my desire for this child, I asked God why. I still wonder why:

Why did you take my baby, God? 

But it wasn't really mine. That baby was always in the hands of the Lord. Whether it lived a long life here on earth or went to be with the Lord before it took a single breath, that baby wasn't mine. It was entrusted to me for a short time. It was my job to take care of the baby by making sure that I was getting enough rest, enough to eat, enough exercise, no caffeine and all sorts of other things that I was realizing daily. I was supposed to be a good steward by caring for that child in my womb but I never owned it. The Lord knit that baby together, not me.

I didn't have control over this baby at all. I hoped that we would have a perfect newborn in about seven months from now, but the truth is that leading up that point would mean nine months of letting God grow a baby in me. That would mean nine months of what-ifs and hands-on lessons in trusting God. And then the baby would be in the real world and I would worry about that child until my last breath. At no point was that baby's life in my control.

I'm not saying that the only reason I lost the baby was to teach me a lesson. It's just that so far, I've come face-to-face with the reality that not only is my life not my own (I Corinthians 6:19-20), but that baby's life wasn't mine either.

I tend to take the control of a situation for granted. To think that, for example, this is MY baby and that God is somehow doing me a favor by keeping it safe and healthy in my body. In reality, God had given me that child at that time for His perfect purpose. And my baby is safe and healthy. It will never know the sin and suffering of this world, only what it is like to live in the presence of God Himself.
In this situation, I am astounded by the power and might of God.

I shouldn't take anything for granted.

August 18

As weddings go, this was one that I've been looking forward to for quite some time. 

The bride was one of my first-year roommates and one of my best friends. Last summer, Erica lived with me for the month of August while she was in transition to a new house and before Carson came back from the forest service. She's from Ohio, which worked out excellently for us, because she got married in Ohio the weekend that we moved here. 

Pictures from the rehearsal. 

This was one of the most seamless wedding rehearsals I've ever attended. It wasn't exactly quick, but the planning was meticulous and every detail, down to the candle lighting and the walking over to podiums, was rehearsed and discussed. 

Zack and Erica

The rehearsal dinner was at a home across the street from Erica's house. We had pizza and salad and enjoyed fellowship over dinner, ice cream cake afterward, and then the bride and groom said a few words and then passed out fun gifts to the bridal party

We were given these purple robes to get ready in on the morning of the wedding. 

Passing out directions to the reception and bubbles for them as they left. I love this picture. Jaimie, by the way, is another friend from Spokane. She replaced me after I moved out from my first apartment, to "move to Chicago", which didn't happen. Anyway, I graduated with her and she too is a good friend. It was fun to spend the weekend with another Spokane friend in a strange place.

The reception was at a golf course, and we took pictures out there before the party! While the real photographer was taking the usual pictures, Carson had my camera out there taking fun ones. 

We were a little late taking pictures and they had to send someone in to get us to actually come to the reception. It was a beautiful setup and the food was very tasty. 

Before they left... the Faltinowskis and the Bays.