part of me?

Sometimes God's word seems new all over again. The words I've read a thousand times before become clearer. The other day I was flipping through my Bible and my eyes fell on Colossians 3:16:

"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God."

And I thought WOW. Allow the word of Christ to become a part of you, so that the things of Him overflow into the lives of others... how neat is that? I know... one person that's like that. Nearly every word out of her mouth is encouraging, is scripture, has something to do with God. She brings up hymns and songs that meant something to her. She's genuine, kind to everyone. She's not even that old but she has let God work in her in a way that's truly inspiring and such a testimony to Him.

And I, well, I don't know what I do. Instead of letting God's word richly dwell within me, I get up, read my Bible and go. Sometimes I give it a second thought at the end of the day. I pray throughout my day but I'm not constantly meditating on God's word, it's not an active, important part of my life. I'm seeing that more everyday. I haven't let myself slide, really, but I haven't really been progressing, either. I've grown, but not necessarily in a way that seeps into other's lives.

It bugs me. I'm pretty annoyed with myself, that I have all this at my fingertips and I don't do a thing with it. I mean, come on, it's the WORD OF GOD. And I let myself mumble on about all the stupid things I'm doing this week or next year instead of talking about it? What a waste of my time! What a waste of yours!

I feel like a hypocrite writing this. Like I'm not going to change. I've said/written so many things, lots of ambitious thoughts and ideas that I haven't carried out. This is one thing that I don't want to fail in. I don't necessarily want to know every chapter of the Bible by heart, but I want God to become so much more to me than He is right now. I want to know Him through His word, because that's the best way to know Him. I want to be a sponge for the things of Him. When I speak, I don't want to be the most spiritual person, the best Christian or the most wise, but I want to overflow with the things of Him. That sounds so "Christian": "I don't want to be anyone, I just want them to know Him better because of me"... well, I don't know how else to word it.

I want it so much right now and I see how much I've messed up in that area that I'm nearly in tears. I want to be a light, even to Christians, of the glory of God. I want to encourage others just by talking about Him, not by thinking of the right thing to say. This friend of mine has been an encouragement through so many things and doesn't really have the "right" words, but lets me know that she's praying and then encourages me by telling me what she's learned lately, making me desire to get into God's word more and causing me to thank God for people like her.

I'm trying (meaning, praying very hard) to make this the pattern of my life. I so want my life to overflow with thankfulness to God. I've had a song stuck in my head today: "I love you Lord and I lift my voice to honor You. Oh my soul rejoice. Take joy my King in what you hear; may it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear".

May the things that we do and say (and think! that gets me every time) be sweet in the ear of the Lord.

"Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord." Ephesians 5:19