My Cross

I found this paper among a stack of things while packing. It's an extra credit essay written on "My Cross"... I knew it would still be on my computer because I'm bad about cleaning things off at the end of the semester so I thought I'd share. It wasn't often that I got to write from MY point of view so I enjoyed this assignment immensely. Enjoy!

I have come to realize that discipleship means much more than saying a quick prayer in a Sunday morning service, walking an aisle, and being baptized. Being a disciple of Christ is not quick or easy or cheap; it is an all-consuming lifestyle and it must cost me something. If I truly desire to become a follower of Jesus and to learn from His life, things in my life cannot stay the same. I will always be changing, always be growing. A disciple of Christ without a changed life is not truly a disciple. Daily I must make a choice to give something to Him: me.

My cross is my pride. It is all the things that I believe I have done: all the triumphs spiritually and physically, all the things I have held dear. I must realize that my vanity because of these things is just that: useless, vain and futile. They have no end and no eternal reward and are only in the here and now. I do not want to realize that or come to that conclusion but I have. I have realized that the cross I bear is the thing I hold most dear, and that God is most glorified and I am most satisfied when I give that to Him, allowing Him to use me and my talents and accomplishments for His glory.

After the Apostle Paul tells the church at Philippi many of his accomplishments and the things he has to boast of, he makes an astounding statement: “But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ” (Philippians 3:7, NASB, italics mine). If Paul who really did have a “claim to fame”, could say this, and deny himself, I know that I am more than capable of the same thing. I have no claim to truly boast; I have not accomplished much in my nineteen years. Like Paul though, I am a prideful person. I do not want to deny myself, but I have no choice. Paul used the best words in describing this, words I feel from the bottom of my heart: “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord… and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ” (Philippians 3:8, NASB). This is what I think it means to lay down my cross: to give Him the thing that means the most to me, for His glory and to gain Him. I may lose myself, but I have gained something of infinite greater value.