Trust Issues

Grr... trust issues. I have them. They are so prevalent in my life and the bane of my existence.

Primarily, I think they all boil down to my trust issues with God. Quite honestly, I don't exhibit as much faith in Him as He deserves. A lot of my problems could be solved if I simply took my hands off the wheel.

I've also been noting that I have trust issues with people. They are also quite prevalent. I trust people on a surface-y level but I don't trust them with myself. How selfish I am! Not that I'm such an amazing blessing and that depriving people of time with Lindsay is robbery but instead of fully opening up to people, I tend to draw in to myself under the guise of being reserved. And that's just wrong.

As a child of God, I am to love people fully, sacrificially. I need to be willing and eager to give myself to people, to be vulnerable and to be real with them. How do I expect to minister to people unless I can open up and share what God's done in my life?

I don't want to be an open book or wear my heart on my sleeve, per say, but I want to be open and available to people without pre-judging and refusing to open up to them. That's decidedly unlike anything I know to be right.

So anyway, this is just something I'm praying through right now. Trusting God is hard... for some reason talking to the people He created is much harder.