The Road Ahead

{this is the view from right across the street from my apartment}

The very word, "college" always makes me think of the future. Perhaps because that's the purpose of it. To prepare us for life after college: the future. Funny, because I really don't know much about what the future is going to hold.

I'm thinking about Abraham. This man was amazing. After living all his life in a really nice place, God "randomly" (quotations because God's never random) told him to move. He didn't say where to go, just to pack up and move out. And he did. Abraham was 90 and childless when God told him that he would have a ton of descendants. His wife thought it was funny. But Abraham believed in the nigh impossible. Ten years later that came true. Twenty-ish years after that, God had Him give up his only son, to literally sacrifice him on an altar. Over one hundred years old at the time, Abraham must have wondered what God was doing since his only living descendant was about to die. Yet he believed what God had said and put the knife to Isaac's throat. He believed God and had faith in His plan no matter what the cost.

I've always admired Abraham for his faith in God. Being willing to hitchhike over rugged terrain for an unspecified amount of time sounds rather scary, doesn't it? Good for him but that's certainly not something I will ever do, is it?

What if it is? What if next year, instead of moving to Chicago, I go somewhere else? This is my mother's worst fear, that I will pop in randomly one morning and announce that I am moving to another country for the next ten years. Don't worry, Mom, this isn't an announcement or anything. I'm simply saying "what if?". Would I even be open to see it? I certainly hope I would. But am I so set on the idea of finally going to Moody in Chicago, the place I've wanted to go (because of God) since I was in middle school, that I make that my goal and don't even put myself in the position to be available to God?

How horrid that would be?! I would lose everything. To gain only what I want and lose God's plan... it's just not worth it. Not only would I be out of God's will, I might encourage others to get out of it too, by example. What if Abraham just hadn't gone when God said to go? He could easily have brushed it aside, rationalizing it as a midlife crisis. He wouldn't have been an example and testimony of the greatness of God. He wouldn't have been known for his faith and may not even have been the father of the nation of Israel.

If I quit trusting God, that's it.

I've been thinking about this whole thing quite a bit lately. I haven't been placed in that situation before, where I've had what I wanted, had everything planned out, and then God completely changed my course of life by taking whatever that was away. I thought He did that before but I was wrong. He just waited and chose to let me come to Moody this Fall instead of last. But what if He tells me next year, as I'm preparing to move to the Windy City, that I need to go to the sticks instead? What WILL I do?

I want to have my will on that altar, ready to cut its throat with a knife. I want to be that willing for God. Faith can't be tested, endurance can't be had, joy in the trials can't be had if there isn't something lost.

If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself , and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? [Matthew 16:24-26]

Those aren't the words of a dictating, demanding God. He's not Hitler, folks. We don't have to trust God, but it is our best choice. Choice. To follow God, giving Him preference and honor and glory or to do whatever we want to do, giving ourselves whatever we wish and placing Him behind us. He chose to do that for us, by taking us out of what we did deserve (punishment for our sin = death/eternal separation from God) and giving us what we didn't deserve = forgiveness in the form of a perfect sacrifice... Jesus, God's only Son. No, really.

Think about that, dwell on that. That's WHY we do what we do as Christians... because of His sacrifice. If you think about it, everything we do is a reciprocation for what God has done for us. It isn't because we can even try to make things up to Him but it's because He has given us so much and we want to give Him the glory, give Him ourselves and magnify Him in that way.

That's why if I end up in... somewhere very far away and not all that pleasant... it's really not that bad. Because I'm in His will and He has promised to keep me there. Not because woo-hoo I can make great sacrifices but because God is so great and I trust Him. I trust Him.

I'm no Abraham but wherever He wants me to go, I intend to go.