i hate goodbyes

Alternately titled: ''In Which Lindsay Cries In Public and Makes a Fool of Herself"

I'm not sure when I became super emotional. 

It's never been a characteristic of mine. Oh sure, I would cry, but they were little tears that you could barely see. 

This week, and particularly this weekend, I have cried so much that I'm fairly certain I could not cry any more. It has made me tired, not hungry and ultra contemplative. 

Why? 

Because Carson has left. I won't see him for a few weeks at least. 

Here are a select amount of pictures from the last few days together. 

movie night

breakfast saturday morning

dinner saturday night

(um, also because he was leaving we ate a lot... "this is the last time for awhile"... so someone needs to make me run. just saying.)

Chicken Bacon Ranch pizza from Papa Murphy's, minus tomatoes plus artichoke hearts. We LOVE artichoke hearts on pizza. And i don't want to know how bad this was for us. Like I said, I'm going to run.

Sunday morning breakfast. He's been dying to go to this waffle place in town, so we did. 

He likes coffee. I should get a coffee maker for him.

At breakfast 

He got the banana split waffle. It even came with ice cream.  

All packed to go. 

My sunglasses served a dual purpose. Yes, it was sunny. But I was crying SO much and my eyes were red. My face is still puffy. The smile in the picture masks it a little bit. 

Buckling the seat belt. 

I've used the phrase "I lost it" a lot this weekend. Because I've cried a ton. Saturday night, we argued about something and I started bawling. Sunday during our membership interview I teared up. Right before we walked out the door for him to leave I started hiccup-crying (hence the glasses). And when he left... yikes. 

We live on church property and this was about thirty minutes after church, so you have to understand that people were out there going to their cars. And there I am, sniffling and sobbing. Several people turned around (to wait it out?) and walked back toward the church. As he was backing out, two older men from the church were walking past and one asked "Going camping?" I quickly stated that no, he was moving away for the summer for the forest service. 

And then, I lost it. 

Carson was waving goodbye and they were standing there wondering what to do. They said that they were praying for me and that I was brave (which was clearly not the case, but they were so nice). Then they asked if they could do anything for me. I sniffled and cried and said no and went up to my apartment while they headed to lunch or where ever they were going. 

Carson texted me a picture of the house when he got there this evening. It looks a lot cuter than last year. For pictures of the inside, browse archives from last June - August... it's our first little place :)