cleaning out the attic.

For You are my hope;

O Lord God You are my confidence from my youth. 

By You I have been sustained from my birth;

You are He who took me from my mother's womb;

My praise is continually of You. 

Psalm 71:5-6

I braved the attic the other day. I've been intending to sort through things in there, tidy them up, throw old junk away, and realized that with only fifteen days left till I leave, I need to work on it. 

So I did. Lots of things are now in a box, to be thrown away. A number of books sit nearby, reminders of all the reading I used to do, books I have no need to keep. Photo albums have been rescued from the dust of the attic floor and have a happy home on a shelf in the closet. There are still many things to sort through and throw away. I was surprised at the sheer amount of things in there: books. sermon notes. journals. Cabbage Patch dolls. mini golf score cards. name tags. souvenirs  from all over the place. 

Each item brought recognition and resulted in a fond memory. The things they represented do just that: represent. I have no true tie to anything in that attic. It's the memories that make me hold on to them. If they were to burn or accidentally land in the "throw away" box, it would be okay. I would be sad at the loss of the pictures; they're a lot more important to me than anything else in there, but nevertheless, they only bookmark old memories. 

The past is something I think of fondly. I love it and can now laugh at the photos of myself in dorky 90's clothing, braces, and tons of hairspray keeping my bangs back. I smile, remembering playing in the mud on Grandmamma and Grandaddy's driveway, or playing "Little House on the Prairie" in our old house. I love to look back and think about the way things were. 

But while I love looking back, and love thinking about the past, I know that it's in the past. As I said, if all the things in that attic were to be destroyed and I never saw them again, I might not notice. I know I live in the present. If I were a DVD or VHS player, I wouldn't play at fast-forward or rewind. I like where I am. I like experiencing each day as it comes along. And while I may get antsy to speed certain events up (college graduation...), I am quite content to live right now. 

All those memories in boxes are stored there because they're in the past. Finished, stored away. Today will be too. August 4th, 2009 won't ever be relived. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about being content and about really seeing each day for what it is. Viewing it as more of an adventure to explore (I sound like a children's book) than as just another mundane DAY.  So much is missed if we live for the future or from the past. So much is gained when we look back on those things without letting them take hold of us, and live the day that God has ordained. Don't let them get old! His mercies are new each day!

O God, you have taught me from my youth, 

And I still declare Your wondrous deeds. 

Psalm 71:17

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;

Many will see and fear

And will trust in the Lord. 

Psalm 40:3

Each Day a Life - Robert William Service

I count each day a little life,
With birth and death complete;
I cloister it from care and strife
And keep it sane and sweet.

With eager eyes I greet the morn,
Exultant as a boy,
Knowing that I am newly born
To wonder and to joy.

And when the sunset splendours wane
And ripe for rest am I,
Knowing that I will live again,
Exultantly I die.

O that all Life were but a Day
Sunny and sweet and sane!
And that at Even I might say:
"I sleep to wake again."