I Kissed My Ideals Goodbye, Part 1

When I was in Junior High, I read Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye".

As a very mature (in my own mind) fourteen year old, I defined several key elements to my own future courtship. That book and its sequel, "Boy Meets Girl" were actually quite influential in my early dating philosophy.

[disclaimer:] I will say this... they're not bad books! And while I think "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" does idealize courtship perhaps a bit too much, I think much of the advice is sound. The book has nothing to do with it other than setting ideas in my head. I made ideals of my own free will. I tend toward making rules on things that are actually more like gray areas... and that's what this post is actually mostly about...

So for several years, I planned to do things the old fashioned way. I would be friends with a boy, he would like me and without my knowledge, speak to my father. He would outline his plans to woo me and wed me, and we would have a lovely little wedding in a small white church, in which we would have our first kiss. During the period of courtship, he would spend Sunday afternoons at my parent's house after church and throw the football with my dad. He would be from the South and our babies would have accents just like him.

Well, I moved away from home at the age of 19 (a year away from my intended "marry by" age, also determined when I was fourteen), thoroughly single. I did have close guy friends, but no marriage proposal kept me home.

By this time, I was actually a bit cynical on the whole relationship thing as a whole, having seen so many broken hearts from both dating relationships and courtships. I liked the idea of getting married, but the pre-marriage, relationship part freaked me out. It was at this time that I decided that I would agree to an arranged marriage. No games, just "Here he is!"

That didn't happen either.

So I was 3,000 miles from home, single, and content in that. Possibly overjoyed in that. Possibly smug and prideful in that. Possibly just about to have my lofty ideals kicked in the face.

Over Christmas break that year my relationship status was discussed. A friend asked me about my single state. I made lovely comments on being content and all sorts of things. I even had a conversation with God about possibly making a vow to not get into a relationship that year... not that I had all sorts of offers that needed turning down, but it was really heavy on my heart. The sign I asked for didn't happen so I didn't make that promise...

...and that turned out to be good. Because just five or so weeks into the semester, a strange guy from two of my classes (who coincidentally happened to be around a lot more), asked me to the spring formal.

My ideals were about to be crushed. I was going to lose a battle.

And to make it even worse, people from Washington don't have Southern accents. No hope for those future children.

...to be continued...

favorite places

china. 

the great wall. sharing the GOSPEL in a place like Beijing. 

old sheldon church. 

south carolina. old. pretty. place where we got engaged.

ukraine. 

place where missions captured my heart. gorgeous. one of my favorite places.

washington. 

mountains. evergreens. place we started life together.

once upon a saturday evening

if only every evening could be spent this way...

Eight Months

There's nothing special about eight months.
Nothing monumental about the number eight at all.
Not really.

And yet, today we've been married for that long.
And it's gone by very fast.
And we're loving it.
And we're really growing.

I love the man I married more now than before marriage.
Not that it's a surprise, I just didn't get it before.
But living with him has given me a new perspective on him:
His temperament, his character, his quirks, his strengths and weaknesses.

And for eight months, I've had a front seat to all of this.
And he's had a front seat to who I really am.
Yikes.
But really, it has been so good.
Even the not so wonderful moments - seriously anything can turn out for good and for growth!

Happy eight!

an adorned home: bedroom and bathroom

I've been making things, revamping things and making small purchases to make our formerly unfurnished, sparse apartment a homey, inviting place.

May I show you around?

First, we'll begin with our bedroom.

We got our bedspread from Target after the unfortunate stolen comforter incident this summer. I really like it! The pillows are all made by me! The bigger ones are just placemats that I've stuffed with fiberfill (couldn't find a link... but they're Target also). The smaller one is inspired by this post.

Our nightstand looks like this, minus the wheels. Three plastic drawers, filled with things that would fill a dresser, if only we had one. You can see that I've attempted to make it prettier by adding more burlap with another strip of fabric across it. looks better than plain old plastic! The lamp was mine from before we were married. 

The wall opposite our bed was bare and lonely, so I gathered up frames of various shapes and sizes and made a collage. It's a look I like, though perhaps it could have been more carefully arranged. Just something to tweak in the future!

There's also a mirror on this wall... and what you'd have seen if I hadn't used the zoom would be the hamper. The closet may not get a spotlight. It's pretty crazy. 

This is our bathroom! 

It's tiny but we don't really need a huge one. No fights have been had about the lack of sink space and the size hasn't been a problem. I recently (this week) added the two frames to put something pretty in the space and really like it. We added two metal shelves under the sink for storage and it makes it look messy but it's worth it for the storage!

This is the other side of our bathroom. It's so nice to get that natural light during the day. 

I'd like to hang something on that wall and I'm sure I will in due time. 

The shower curtain is from Wal-Mart and it coordinates with the mat that isn't pictured and is the color of our kitchen walls :) 

More for another day! I'm working on pillows for the living room right now and trying to organize :)

thankful for

workout videos. because i HATE gyms. ick.

workout video buddies. because at least you aren't alone with the sweating and suffering.

my husband. because he leaves sweet notes around. and does the laundry at random.

leftovers. because i don't have to have a sandwich for lunch.

mascara. because my eyelashes have blonde tips.

showers. because of that workout. because now i smell good!

spell-check. because i don't like to proofread.

babies. because they're so darn cute.

school. because it starts in two weeks and i'm enrolled!

sleep. because i didn't get enough and i can see how much i need it.

jesus. because my life would not be the same without him.

sweats. because i can wear yoga pants to work.

water. because i don't even know how many times i filled my camelbak up yesterday. lots.

bible. because it's true and life-changing and alive. because it's god's word.

ibuprofen. because kids are loud and i got a headache.

writing in all lowercase. because i can.

new workout routine

With the new year, we decided to kick up our workouts another notch. 

So now we're doing this on a daily basis:

manually moving the car from one side of the parking lot to the other

Or, perhaps more accurately... 

John's car won't start but had to be moved for some work on the gutters on the building.

So Carson, Rachel and I pushed it over ice and snow... 

and then took a picture after the job was done. 

it's funny

Spokane, Washington.
It's funny to think that a place I didn't know existed has taken so much of my heart. Tons of firsts, tons of growth -- both spiritually and physically in a "hey-I'm-living-on-my-own" kind of way. Figuring out that to pay rent one must have money. To understand that budgets are lovely things to have before going to the store. To realize that shopping on an empty stomach is a bad idea... especially for said budget.

It's funny that this was just a bump on the road for my plans. That I would be here for a school year and then be gone, off to a bigger, windier city. Never would I have thought that I would change my plan, my direction, and choose to stay. And for a boy? Unthinkable. I've been here for two and a half years and though that's not a very long time, it's long enough to be familiar with this place, to consider it home.

It's funny to look ahead to the future. To think that this "bump on the road" has been such a joy, and that it will be hard to leave. That a school I've come to love will be left behind, and people who've entered its doors from near and far (like I have), will exit and go on to something else. We probably won't be here forever. We'll leave and maybe visit but this won't be home anymore. This is part of life as it is, but not life as it will be. It keeps going.

It's funny to think that there will be new lessons, new streets to ascertain, new city laws to figure out. There will be more apartments, more class registrations, and more moving boxes. There will be different people, plans, promises to trust.

Life isn't about staying in one place. It goes on. And whether it goes on and you live in the Northwest for the rest of your life or it goes on and you move to a different continent, country or school, change happens. Growth happens. And it's good.

Isn't it funny?

First Roommate

I met Molly the Wednesday before school started. 

We were wearing the same outfit that day. Red shirts and jeans.

And our moms were (are) named Michele with one "L". 

We were roommates. 

We both liked green and polka dots. 

And decorated both our room and our bathroom in rainbows.

We said it was to combat any gloomy weather. But who knows?

Anyway, that was two and a half years ago. 

Feels like longer.

Probably because we lived together.

So many memories in that time. 

Isn't it funny that you "make a lifetime" in a short time with people when you move away from home?

I think that's it.

Today is a special day for Molly. 

A really important day. 

She's not going to be Molly Schwaninger anymore

She'll be Mrs. Jerrad Fletcher. 

I'm, sadly, not in Michigan to witness the event but I can't wait to see pictures and see the newlyweds once they return to Spokane. And I know the dress is gorgeous; I just haven't seen it on her.

Congrats, best-roommate-ever! 

(for some reason those were our phone tags for awhile)

Taco Bell and Sparkling Cider

New Year's eve last year was spent with friends in Cheney, watching movies and playing Settlers of Catan.

This year? We spiced things up...

 Clearly.

We went to Target after Carson got off work. If you ever want to spend a quiet evening in Target, 9:30pm on New Year's Eve is the time.

And yes, we went to Taco Bell:

Carson: "Let's go get tacos"

Lindsay: "Are you serious?"

Carson: "We can make a resolution NOT to eat it in the new year"

Lindsay: "Sounds fantastic!"

So there we were, off to the drive thru...

And oddly enough, we weren't alone. Others had the idea for pre-resolution fast food. 

So we took pictures while we waited.

Target and Taco Bell. Jealous yet?

And then we returned home with our Target purchases: sparkling cider, The Blind Side, and candy. 

Carson LOVES candy.

We poured the cider, opened the candy, popped the DVD in and played Scrabble. 

At five to midnight, we were doing this:

 We were about to take a "Yay, it's midnight" picture

When we heard a sound. It confused us.

(We were mid-picture and this is an actual candid)

Until we realized that our clocks were one minute off and it was 2011! 

And there were fireworks going off downtown.

So we did what any normal people would do: we ran to the other end of the building, grabbed Heidi's spare key, and watched the fireworks from her window!

Happy New Year!

Cows and Ice

Note that I did not say "Cows on ice".

Not that you were expecting that.

Nevermind.

Anyway, this is how we spend the first day of the new year...

Taking a day trip

 to eastern Oregon

For no real reason but "why not?"

and because I've only been to western Oregon and there's lots to see

And even though there was a LOT of ice and snow on the roads 

(look at the left lane)

 through Idaho

 with lots of places to stop along the way

I was wearing my make-every-outfit-look-like-I'm-a-boy  awesome waterproof boots
(they really aren't that bad... and Carson was right about them being warmer)

 while Carson wore his hat (I think these hats look like Pluto's ears)

 where we took our time and took self-portraits

 and observed many snow covered, ice covered roads

and then we stopped to visit a herd of cows
we literally hung out there for fifteen minutes, trying to get them to come over.
I'm not trying to brag (yes I am) but Carson couldn't get them over and then I did.
They were won over by the sweetness of my voice
(I have a video)
My reward? A lick from a cow. And no way to clean my hand. Mmm... saliva...

This was my new friend. I couldn't decide if she was angry or interested.

we decided to chronicle our awesome first day of the new year with these guys.
our noses were red. it was -1 degrees. that is cold!

they still look a little angry to me. maybe it was the snowball Carson threw?

 We also saw lots of deer. And some elk, but they were far away.

 And we stopped in this "town" (there was one restaurant/laundromat/bathhouse/bar/hotel and some campsites owned by the one establishment for crazy people hunters)

 And that's all we did in Oregon.
We passed some really elaborate Christmas light set-ups in Idaho's parks. This is the best picture I have.

And then I fell asleep because I was totally car sick around all the mountain roads that went up and down and twisted. And I fall asleep when I'm frustrated or feeling bad.