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Tuesday, April 29, 2008
10 things...
We'll start at the very beginning (a very good place to start... ten points if you can name that song).
1. A lovely pile of books used to research for my Christian Science paper... I worked so hard and pitched a fit when I saw the grade: 100. I doubt my prof even read the paper (still a little bitter).
2. I LOVE this picture of Scott. First picture I took with my dear new camera. I like the green walls (if you didn't know my favorite color is green) and the fact that Scott's eye looks like a huge red spider. Red eye remover just didn't want to work on it.
3. The view from my bed, one of my favorite places to sit with my laptop and study... very common scene: Mini walking around on my bed, the many pictures around my room, crooked frames because I couldn't find the level, the pen handy on my bed.
4. My catch-all dresser; and me, favoring my dorky side. I love my dresser and had always wanted one like this because of the mirror over it... but especially so I could put lots of picture frames on top!
5. Typical family scene: Dad comes in, having done something to one of the dogs. Dog, highly embarrassed, will not look us in the eye. Dad poses for picture with wide eyes and a Cheshire smile. I love my dad. {fyi: the thing on Mini's head is a jewelry hanger of Becca's that dad took down during Bec's most recent re-arranging session}
6. My terribly messy desk. This is my other study spot, the place I'm supposed to be studying. Books I use frequently/books I don't use frequently but didn't have room for on my bookcase, camera cord, monkey that whistles that I received for Valentine's Day (guess who THAT'S from...), an orange to snack on, and a box I covered with paper during a moment of creativity.
7. Daisy, looking very pitiful in antlers (darn those hound dog eyes). Doesn't she look like the dog in How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the cartoon one)?
8. An attempt at capturing the rainy day on my balcony... after not lucking out on my multiple "raindrops falling in puddles" shots.
9. Our new tree. A lovely new oak tree arrived earlier this week to be planted in the circle of our driveway. There wasn't much contrast in the picture and the tree blended in with those behind it so I took advantage of the "focal black and white" option in Picasa.
10. Me, taking a break from my computer to take a picture of my braids. I love wearing my hair in braids, because it's fun and because my hair was too short when I was little to satisfy my love for braids (*weep weep*)... though the coarseness of it makes it stick out, giving me a frightening resemblance to Pippi Longstocking by the end of the day.
Ugh. Now I'm frustrated beyond belief because the pictures aren't lining up correctly. Anyone know how to remedy this? It's driving me bananas!
Monday, April 28, 2008
wide eyed and innocent
...not that I'd know or anything.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
not a sugar rush
To wake myself up this morning, I had placed my Bible on my desk so I would actually have to get up to grab it. It's like two steps, but that's usually enough to make my eyelids stay open. Anyway, as I was rubbing sleep out of my eyes I glanced at the clock: 7:35. Yeah, I was exhausted and I'm not even going to tell you how many hours of sleep I got (not a pretty number). I started making the mental list of my morning routine, thinking of what I was going to wear, wondering if taking a shower was necessary (it wasn't, I really didn't have time)... and then I had my thought:
Reading God's Word isn't supposed to be a sugar rush. Um, what? Why did I think of that? I hadn't even considered not reading my Bible this morning. Of course it was going to be a quick read but I planned on reading the Bible this morning. AND I was going to ask God to let me understand what it was saying and to learn more about Him (aren't you awed by my generosity toward God?).
A sugar rush, as we all know, is that really quick rush of energy we get when we've had a lot of, well, sugar. Nothing but momentary, temporary. It's a "quick fix" but won't satisfy our hunger. Like when I asked God to "show me something", I didn't really care what, I just wanted something from Him.
He showed me this morning, in terminology that I don't usually use, that what I've looked for is that tidbit of His word to get me by until tomorrow, or at least until I come home from work. I don't usually "study to show myself approved", I just study. By doing this, I also have the problems that come from having a sugar rush: extreme highs and lows. Instead of this, I could have a "balanced diet" of His Word. I could be learning, growing, meditating, consuming God's Word and I just DON'T!
Is your morning quiet time your sugar rush?
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
they lied
Someone told me way back when that when I'm not in this life anymore, I will die. But that isn't true. How could something dead live forever? When I pass out of this life I will be so much more alive than I thought possible. I will be in the presence of GOD Himself. I will live and live and live. I will not just "exist" on this planet.
"Death" is just about the coolest thing ever for believers, if you think about it. I mean seriously. Who on earth could make this stuff up? Babies born with heart defects are absolutely perfect and healed and complete. Blind people: can you imagine the first thing you see being JESUS? Deaf: how would you like to hear the constant praise going on all around you to your Maker? And the mute? The first thing to pass out of their lips is thanksgiving and praise and worship.
So you say you're afraid of leaving this world? Don't want to die? Are you for real????
(You know that I like to explain the "why" behind my posts. Well actually, I've been contemplating death over the past few hours. Not in a morbid way, just reading blogs of people whose children have died soon after birth, blogs of children who are aren't expected to have long lives, and those that weren't supposed to make it, but are. These really have given me perspective [because in no way, shape, or form have I endured those kinds of trials] and a desire to live for God no matter what... the testimony here - wow [links if you run over the words])
Monday, April 21, 2008
catch up post.
Saturday Night: Went to a birthday party/going away party (Dustin, Brandon, Morgan). There was typical small talk at the beginning as we ate but then later it was fun. We danced a lot. I stink at dancing but I love it and had such a great time. I'm really sore now from standing on my tip-toes to dance (Morgan noticed that all girls stand on their tip-toes to dance... odd, isn't it?) but I would definitely do it again. Good times, Saturday.
Sunday Afternoon: Lovely day outside so we chose to have a picnic downtown by the cannons. The guys bought the food and the girls made it. I wonder if they discovered the dirt we put in there? It was very much a lazy Sunday afternoon, as we just sat around and talked and laughed. Thomas and Fred were the only active members of the group; they chose to toss grapes and catch them with their mouths. Facebook has pictures :)
Support: I am officially provisionally accepted for the team this summer because I haven't gotten fifty percent of my support in. If I don't have it by May 4th, I suppose I shall be attending Water Festival because I'll be staying in Beaufort.
School: The end is near! April 29th I start finals and intend to be done by May 3rd. The semester has flown by but the last three weeks are always the hardest. It's like "senioritis" but not... "end-of-semester-itis"?
Camera: I have a new one. Brandon and Dustin graciously agreed to meet me at Best Buy to see if the warranty would allow my camera to be replaced or fixed (because the battery door kept popping open... it was annoying but not major... I pretty much wanted to see how good the warranty was). I didn't have anything to do with the exchange of it and didn't really pay much attention because we pretended that it was Brandon's camera. They were going to replace it with another 450... but Canon quit making the 450 so instead we got to choose any camera under $300... the 1100 was $249 so we went with that. It's a lot nicer than my other camera, the battery door doesn't fly open, it's blue, and I have another 4 year warranty on it... thanks guys! (and note to all of you... Best Buy is awesome... buy your cameras there)
Cleaning: I have a ton of clothes and shoes that I bought 5-7 years ago that I still wear. Yes, that means I still own things I wore when I was 12 (no, not all of them fit the same). But anyway, I have a LOT of really ugly stuff, because a) styles have changed since 2001 and b) I used to like ugly things (apparently) and just never got around to donating them/throwing them away. So last Tuesday, I came home from work and realized that my closet was way too full. I started out by moving winter stuff to drawers and shuffling things around all over (my room was a gigantic wreck during this process). I went in my attic to find a box to put non-seasonal things in and discovered that I had a lot of stuff in there that I never plan on wearing... so I sorted through them, sorted through the huge box of shoes I haven't worn in ages (I seriously think my feet have shrunk, because many of the shoes I used to wear are an 8 and now I wear a 6.5 - 7, I couldn't wear this stuff if I'd even wanted to!). Now my closet is much less full, I have a box, two trash bags, and a pile of junk sitting in the corner ready for the dump or Goodwill, and I can breathe easier. I didn't know I had so much junk!
Strange thing: I woke up to my phone ringing at 1:15 am. I didn't recognize the number (just looked up area code and it's from somewhere in Maryland) so I didn't answer it (would you???). I woke up later this morning and looked at my phone. It said I had a text so I read it... from the same number. It said (and I quote): "I love you baby". Apparently someone has the wrong number.
(edit: I received a second call from this number this afternoon and I decided that answering it was the only way to stop all the calls from whoever this strange person was. He asked twice for Wendy [why do people calling ALWAYS ask for someone named Wendy?] and was a little disappointed that I couldn't help him out. I was tempted to give him someone else's number, just to have a little fun, but I don't want him calling back...)
I am happy about: Tax refunds (never filed taxes before this year), my hair growing fast (finally! It's really long when I straighten it!), dancing the other night, school being almost finished, finding old(ish) pictures on the other computer and looking through them, summer weather...
Friday, April 18, 2008
so amazing
We serve an amazing God...
Thursday, April 17, 2008
pray for the capdepons
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
What do y'all think?
I don't think Audio Adrenaline had bad intentions when they recorded this song, but what do you make of lyrics that say: "The reason we sing is to bring down Your glory"? Because I'm not sure. But I didn't think the point of worshiping God was to bring His glory down to earth... I thought it was to magnify His name and "keep Him big" (not like we can even really do that, but you get my drift). What good is God if He becomes more like us? If His glory becomes commonplace and down to earth?
I don't know... but it was bothering me. I realize that I've over-analyzed a song that was meant to GIVE glory to God, not take it away, but what do y'all think? Should God's glory be "brought down" or can you give any light to the meaning of this song?
I know there are more of you that read than comment... make today a first: comment! I'd like to hear your thoughts too...
Monday, April 14, 2008
{philippians 4:6-7}
Nothing. Don't be anxious, don't worry about anything at all. You have no reason.
"But in everything"
Without exception... don't worry. Instead, in all things...
"By prayer and supplication"
Don't mull it over in your head... talk about it with God, ask Him
"With thanksgiving"
Thanking God for what He has provided and expecting to hear from Him
"Let your requests be made known to God"
Let the one who knows your thoughts hear your voice raise in supplication to Him. Ask the One who knows all.
"And the peace of God"
After you've voiced your supplications, peace comes from God Himself... what a privilege!
"Which surpasses all comprehension"
aka: beyond your wildest imagination - I shouldn't be at peace but I am! I don't understand it!
"Will guard your hearts and minds"
Without that worry, you're protected from doubting God, perhaps doubting yourself, and are free to trust Him and to rest in peace. You're not anxious. You can sleep at night!
"In Christ Jesus"
Jesus Himself seals us and protects us from that worry and anxiousness we are so apt to use as our fall back. Instead we fall on Him. And He holds us up.
{This is such a familiar passage of Scripture but one I needed to re-read and sort of exegete for myself. There are better ways to do so, of course, but this is what it was saying to me tonight. Be anxious for nothing... but let the peace of God (which surpasses all comprehension) guard your hear and your mind in Christ Himself. Give it to God.}
Sunday, April 13, 2008
not what I'd intended
school!
(It may or may not be stretching the truth to say that I was excited, but I'll let you be the judge of that...)
Friday afternoon Mr Mike was walking past my desk. He popped his head back in and said "How old are you?" I told him that I was 19 and he asked if I wanted to go to the Passion conference. "When?" "In a few hours." I considered it briefly, because I didn't have a lot of time to think about it, and agreed. I got off work early and headed home to pack. Twelve minutes at home to pack, and I was off again, heading to the church to meet Christina. We got directions from her dad, and got in her car. Yes, just the two of us, to Atlanta. It took a little over five hours, because traffic was really slow near Augusta... so we got there an hour late (@ 8:30). Found seats in the arena - it was huge!
Chris Tomlin was leading worship when we came in. Louie Giglio taught after that. He talked about what the name means, talked a lot about God, and shared some stories. He said that Passion doesn't exist to make CDs and neither does he. He lives to glorify God. That was the point of the lesson... not to do good things for God, but to live to glorify Him... basically all things will come after that, but our only aim is to glorify God - that's why we were created. After the lesson (and after every lesson after that) there was a time of silence, to reflect and pray about what had been taught and what we needed to do. That was absolutely amazing! David Crowder led worship after that, breaking the silence :) But he also did something that was pretty neat: during the bridge of one song (can't remember what it was) he had us sing it once through... in our hearts. It sounds a little strange, but I got chills as we "sang" silently. It was so neat (I want to do that at FLOW).
It took us about an hour and a half to get out of the parking lot (fyi, there were 10,000 people there...) and to my aunt and uncle's house in Peachtree City, which gave us time to talk about what we had learned. I think we made it there at around 1am, made a little small talk, and then went to bed. It's amazing how comfortable beds are when you're dead tired.
In the morning, we had eggs, grits and cinnamon rolls for breakfast with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. Christina and I confessed to one another later that we don't like grits, but you wouldn't have known because we ate them without a face (when I told Dad this [he loves grits and has tried for years to make me affectionate toward them] he laughed and said that the "Mission-trip eat-everything-on-your-plate" thing had paid off). We left at around 9, which was bad because the first session started at 10, and we had to go and buy socks and towels to donate to a ministry in the Philippines (it was a requirement for the conference). After a quick stop at Target, we headed back to Atlanta. We were already late, but traffic was way backed up so we got there 45 minutes late. Again, we made it during the worship. Charlie Hall was leading. The lesson was by a guy named Francis, who taught about the Holy Spirit in a way I'd never really thought about. There was the silence after the lesson again, and then we were dismissed for lunch.
The trucks that had been bringing our boxed lunches was running four hours late so instead of everyone having those for lunch, they switched the schedule and had us leave for lunch and eat boxed dinners instead. It was to our advantage that Christina and I weren't part of a big church group, because there were so many of us, so we decided to go to an Italian restaurant and got seated right away (the group of 23 behind us had a mild wait). It was a good lunch, but it didn't take up a lot of time, so we sat in the car for almost an hour waiting for the doors of the Arena to open.
The afternoon session's worship was led by David Crowder. Then Louie taught a follow up to what he'd talked about Friday. We were then dismissed again to get our box lun.... er, dinners. They were literal boxes... we found that pretty funny. We ate dinner and had a ton of time to fill so we went to Kroger... it was so crowded with college students. They were in the Starbucks, hanging around the aisles, lounging on the porch furniture for sale, browsing the store... I'm sure regular shoppers wondered who the people with the orange arm bands and the name tags were. We loaded up on snacks for the trip home, and rested in the car for about 45 more minutes.
When the doors finally opened, we were instructed to be silent in the big room. Ten thousand people silent people in a room. There were a lot of open Bibles and journals and people just openly praying. Then the lights went off and a presentation began... nearly identical to the silence and solitude lesson at FLOW... about silence and worshiping God and the gospel and... wow. It was really amazing. David Crowder broke the silence once again and we sang to God. Chris Tomlin came up after him and did some more... I really liked the way worship went with both of them - it didn't matter that they were Chris Tomlin and David Crowder - they were just people leading other people in worship. They had fun and did cool effects, but that wasn't the point and that was made so clear. I really liked that because so many times it seems like a show... they weren't making it into a publicity stunt though. The music ended with the hymn Amazing Grace. Louie was just beginning his lesson at nine, but we had to leave to drive back to Beaufort. I'm sure that session was great too; I'm glad we were there for the worship at least... it was so neat praising God there.
The drive was uneventful after an interesting stop at the gas station (one of those "creepy" gas stations... with creepy people outside who yelled at Christina in Spanish because I guess they thought she'd understand it). We got back about five till two this morning and stayed at the Brant's guest house. Too early, we rolled out of bed to get ready for church. I'm sure that we looked bad this morning but our gracious friends didn't comment :)
It was a great weekend, minus the lack of sleep. The conference was refreshing and the silence was so neat. It wasn't what I'd intended, but that's just another example that my plans aren't the only way and that God's are better. I would have missed out on so much (and so would Christina... she couldn't go alone!) if I had stuck to what I'd intended to do. I so enjoyed the fellowship with Christina and the worship and the lessons... but I most enjoyed the time with God.
Pictures... (which wouldn't format correctly in the text so I put them at the bottom...)
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
awake
I woke up this morning to the sound of scratching. There are some things that annoy me a LOT and one of them is the sound of Daisy or Mini at the door, struggling to dig their way in. I glanced at the clock: "4:44" it screamed in neon green lights. Reluctantly, I peeled myself from my bed and opened the door. I was moving rather slowly, so by the time I had shut the door and turned around, I saw Daisy curled up in my bed! I picked her up and moved her over, covering her with a blanket... and fell back to sleep. My head is still groggy from that experience... I'm not one to wake up in the middle of a deep sleep.
Right now though, I'm feeling super talkative (which is the reason I'm posting... there's no one to talk to). After I got up for real, I decided to spend my "quiet time" just talking to God. A fuse was blown so the power in my room and my sister's room wasn't working, so it was semi-dark. It's been awhile since I had a truly quiet quiet time and just talked to Him. I usually drown myself out with thoughts or sleep or something and end up frustrated. But today was different. I shared some things with Him that He obviously already knew, but it was good to talk to Him. It was a very good start to my day.
So now I'm feeling really happy although I'm pretty tired... just really content about a lot of things (...things that I had previously been a bit anxious about... praise God!) and finding my joy in Him.
I hope you're having the same experience today. Maybe you didn't have a good wake-up this morning but I hope that you're finding joy in the Lord.
Monday, April 7, 2008
just some quotes
The Bible nowhere calls upon men to go out in search of peace of mind. It does call upon men to go out in search of God and the things of God. Abba Hillel Silver.
God cannot endure that unfestive, mirthless attitude of ours in which we eat our bread in sorrow, with pretentious, busy haste, or even with shame. Through our daily meals He is calling us to rejoice, to keep holiday in the midst of our working day. Deitrich Bonhoeffer.
Nothing could convince me of God's unending mercy more than the continued existence on earth of the church. Annie Dillard.
No, there is no escape. There is no heaven with a little of hell in it - no plan to retain this or that of the devil in our hearts or our pockets. Out Satan must go, every hair and feather. George MacDonald.
In our era, the road to holiness necessarily passes through the world of action. Dag Hammarskjold.
And first of all, whatever good work you begin to do, beg of Him with most earnest prayer to perfect it. Benedict of Nursia.
(this one is in reference to using our bodies as tools to perfect God's work) God gave me a message to deliver and a horse to ride. Alas, I killed the horse, and now I cannot deliver the message. Robert Murray McCheyne.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
one of them?
I've had many aspirations concerning my future; gone through stages but didn't feel that there was anything I could do for life. If I were to spend my life doing a job I didn't like, I would not turn in good work, I would hate every day and... well, it just wouldn't be good, okay? One day the thought of doing missions popped into my head; I think it was while reading Shadow of the Almighty. There was instant appeal in the idea, but I'm a bit skeptical: I've gotten really excited about other things before, only to despise the idea just a few weeks later.
So I kept the missions idea in the back of my head and applied to Moody (the school I'd wanted to go to for 5 years) during my senior year, for the communications program. I didn't get in, as you probably know. Last year really stretched me in my faith in God as I considered the "why" and the "what next" in life. It wasn't fun, but I wouldn't ever trade it... not getting accepted was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I finally decided to do Moody's Distance Learning program last semester and stay here (because really, what else would I do?).
For some reason I can't remember, Erin couldn't lead the Junior High class so I asked Jillian if I could help lead. I thought it would be fun because I'd loved helping with the high school Bible study the previous year, and loved what Stephanie and I did in Ukraine, discipling girls. I talked to Mr. Vince about it and he said it was alright, so Jillian and I made plans for it... and somewhere in there Erin joined in after all... so the three of us started leading the class.I LOVE my girls. I wouldn't have gotten a chance to do this if I were at school.
Erin, Jillian and I are amazed at how God totally orchestrated the small groups. We chose randomly but He didn't. Jillian got the group of girls that is a little more spiritually mature than the others but is very quiet, and who love to hear her speak and share. Erin got the group that has been in church since infancy... the girls that know each other really well and whose parents are mature spiritually while they're trying to find the feet on their faith. I got the group that is quite unlike the other two. They're very material and very loud and love to talk and... yeah, considering my personality it seems that they would really be my worst nightmare. Actually, I absolutely adore them. It's a challenge because staying on topic doesn't happen so wonderfully. But they like to hear me share my thoughts as they share theirs, which works great because I'm not great at talking down to them. They open up too, and share all sorts of things (I now know who the Jonas Brothers are, for instance). I could go on and on about each of them and how much I enjoy them... but that's another post.
Anyway, because of these girls, here's what I want to do with the rest of my life: work with Junior High girls. I remember how I was at this age and how I didn't even realize it but I was longing for someone older to invest in my life. It means a lot when someone who's not your mom wants to be a part of your life. And I don't mean that I want to mean the world to all of the girls that I work with, but I want to be someone who shows them, by my life, how to live as godly women. No one taught me that and I didn't care to listen to my mom when I was that age (I regret it now). I see a ton of girls growing up hearing all this doctrine stuff but never understanding why they're learning it or what it means to them. They don't ask the questions they want to ask because aren't they supposed to have learned this stuff in AWANA? So they grow up and reject most of what they've been taught because it's completely impersonal. They don't realize how personal God is or the relationship they can have with Him!
So that's the story. I love my girls... and I'm blessed that they like me too! I hope to be a good influence in their lives and perhaps in the lives of other Jr Highers in the future. Pray for my girls (and Jill's and Erin's too) as they grow in Christ... I'm so excited to see what God has in store for their lives.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
pictures!
Erin, Cilla, Levi, Brooke, Me, Josh