one of them?

Something I've been questioned about lately is "what do you want to do with the rest of your life"? Perhaps that's because I've just gotten back from a place where I met a lot of people who are in college trying to decide what they want or perhaps it's just coincidence. Whatever the case may be, I wanted to share what I want to do with the rest of my life... it's kinda "the plan" for now, but I've realized how quickly plans change... so it's just the direction I'm heading in for now.

I've had many aspirations concerning my future; gone through stages but didn't feel that there was anything I could do for life. If I were to spend my life doing a job I didn't like, I would not turn in good work, I would hate every day and... well, it just wouldn't be good, okay? One day the thought of doing missions popped into my head; I think it was while reading Shadow of the Almighty. There was instant appeal in the idea, but I'm a bit skeptical: I've gotten really excited about other things before, only to despise the idea just a few weeks later.

So I kept the missions idea in the back of my head and applied to Moody (the school I'd wanted to go to for 5 years) during my senior year, for the communications program. I didn't get in, as you probably know. Last year really stretched me in my faith in God as I considered the "why" and the "what next" in life. It wasn't fun, but I wouldn't ever trade it... not getting accepted was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I finally decided to do Moody's Distance Learning program last semester and stay here (because really, what else would I do?).

For some reason I can't remember, Erin couldn't lead the Junior High class so I asked Jillian if I could help lead. I thought it would be fun because I'd loved helping with the high school Bible study the previous year, and loved what Stephanie and I did in Ukraine, discipling girls. I talked to Mr. Vince about it and he said it was alright, so Jillian and I made plans for it... and somewhere in there Erin joined in after all... so the three of us started leading the class.I LOVE my girls. I wouldn't have gotten a chance to do this if I were at school.

Erin, Jillian and I are amazed at how God totally orchestrated the small groups. We chose randomly but He didn't. Jillian got the group of girls that is a little more spiritually mature than the others but is very quiet, and who love to hear her speak and share. Erin got the group that has been in church since infancy... the girls that know each other really well and whose parents are mature spiritually while they're trying to find the feet on their faith. I got the group that is quite unlike the other two. They're very material and very loud and love to talk and... yeah, considering my personality it seems that they would really be my worst nightmare. Actually, I absolutely adore them. It's a challenge because staying on topic doesn't happen so wonderfully. But they like to hear me share my thoughts as they share theirs, which works great because I'm not great at talking down to them. They open up too, and share all sorts of things (I now know who the Jonas Brothers are, for instance). I could go on and on about each of them and how much I enjoy them... but that's another post.

Anyway, because of these girls, here's what I want to do with the rest of my life: work with Junior High girls. I remember how I was at this age and how I didn't even realize it but I was longing for someone older to invest in my life. It means a lot when someone who's not your mom wants to be a part of your life. And I don't mean that I want to mean the world to all of the girls that I work with, but I want to be someone who shows them, by my life, how to live as godly women. No one taught me that and I didn't care to listen to my mom when I was that age (I regret it now). I see a ton of girls growing up hearing all this doctrine stuff but never understanding why they're learning it or what it means to them. They don't ask the questions they want to ask because aren't they supposed to have learned this stuff in AWANA? So they grow up and reject most of what they've been taught because it's completely impersonal. They don't realize how personal God is or the relationship they can have with Him!

So that's the story. I love my girls... and I'm blessed that they like me too! I hope to be a good influence in their lives and perhaps in the lives of other Jr Highers in the future. Pray for my girls (and Jill's and Erin's too) as they grow in Christ... I'm so excited to see what God has in store for their lives.