I'm a Worm but He is Good.

I am a worm. Did you know that? If you did, I hope that you would have been kind enough not to say so. If you are wondering why I'm thinking that, you've come to the right place. Read these lyrics to a song I've been listening to and playing in my head, and read on...

All We Ever Needed - Rush of Fools

A heavy heart I bring, for I am tired Lord

Awaken my lost love for You

Take this heart of stone and warm this bitter cold

Awaken my lost love for You



Let Your children fall down and worship

Fall down and Know You for You are holy

Let your children rise up before You

Rise and adore You for You are holy

You are holy



Remind us who we are when we have wandered far

Awaken our lost love for You

And like the morning star, You chase away the dark

There is no shadow here with You, with You Lord



Just a glimpse of You is all we ever needed

Just a touch from You is all we ever needed

Just a glimpse of You is all we ever needed

It's all that we are needing now

All this thinking started with the word “Adore” popping into my head earlier. I looked it up and found that adore means: to regard with the utmost esteem, love, and respect; honor. 2. to pay divine honor to; worship. 3. to like or admire very much.

So how does someone go from falling in love to realizing that they have completely lost sight and not adoring anymore? Doesn’t “utmost respect” indicate that it won’t go away?

Ashamedly, I feel like I’ve “lost my love” for God. Not really, but I have lost the joy in it. I’ve lost the passion. I’ve lost hungering after Him and for His word like I used to. I used to pick up a Bible and want to eat and drink it because reading and studying was simply not enough.

Just a glimpse of You is all we ever needed

Has anyone ever come up to you and said, “No, it’s not YOU, it’s me!”? It’s always just before they terminate the relationship in some way. Doesn’t that just make you mad? Do you ever just want to snap back and say “Oh really? Well if I mattered so much to you then why on earth would you do something like that?”

Remind us who we are when we have wandered far

I feel like a worm. For the millionth time I come slithering (or whatever worms do) back to God and saying “Guess what, it’s me again! I’ve failed you again. I made other things more important than You. Again. No, it’s got nothing to do with You – it’s all me!” I am undeserving and repulsive. And yes, it’s NOT Him, it’s all me. But by saying that, I’m pretty much telling God that HE really just didn’t make it into my list of priorities. Because if I loved Him like I claim to love Him, I would act like I love Him. I would grow in love for Him. I wouldn't be such a worm.

Yes, I’m a human. Yes, I know I’m a sinner. It’s just becoming more and more evident to me how despicable I am. A few years ago I used to think I had nothing to say when giving my testimony because I was saved at a young age and grew up in church. Well, not even speaking about the things I did before salvation, I’ve noticed that I am a horrible person. Just about every day, I tell God in some way that He is not important to me. Just by living.

“Love” means so many things and is spoken so casually that saying I’ve lost my love doesn’t hold the same sinking feeling that saying I don’t respect Him, don’t honor Him, don’t worship Him like I should does.

Basically: I am a worm and I don’t revere Him. Ouch.

[revere: to regard with respect tinged with awe]

Awaken my lost love for You

The thing about God as said in this song and as evidenced in life is that He has forgiven. He knows of our worm-ish tendencies and forgave us once for all. He loves unconditionally even though we do not. Even though we can’t even love and serve faithfully the perfect God who has never committed ONE wrong, much less against us. He is SO good. Stop a second and think about it.

In fact, I’m going to do that for a little bit, read a bit of His word.

All we EVER needed.

All that we are needing now.

[this would also be a good time to point out that His faithfulness, something I have been talking about the entire year, is SO evident. He IS good.]