my worlds: a look into how I've grown.

Jillian and I were talking about Washington last night. I told her about my sister visiting me back in March and mentioned that it was a little strange, my two worlds meeting one another.

She commented that that's exactly how I view things: little worlds. She says that I live completely wherever I am. Writing it like that makes it sound pretty neat but sort of boastful but that's not what I'm trying to do at all. I think it's really neat that I do pretty much view where I am as "my world"... I think it's a testimony to what God has done in me. Wow!

Once upon a time, I was me. I lived in Beaufort and my dreams for the future included going to college and getting a job, outside of Beaufort because everyone stays and I didn't want to be like that. I made plans to leave and pursue my dreams but due to not controlling my circumstances, I stayed a year longer than I intended to. I fell in love with Beaufort at that time. And with God. That's the point of this story: Him.

At this moment, I'm in Beaufort, South Carolina. This is my world: I live here, eat here, sleep here, have relationships here. A few months ago, I lived in Spokane, Washington and I know that and have memories there, but the second I came back to Beaufort, all those memories became really distant, like dreams or something.

It was the same when I moved to Washington. Obviously, I had a family back in the South, friends, and places so familiar to me since I've lived here all my life. But it didn't seem real. I wasn't living both lives even though I had great communication with both. And when I come back, of course I've changed and there are adjustments, but I pretty much snap back into life wherever I am, just like I'd never left. I think that's why I don't get homesick easily.
It's been similar in my short stints in Ukraine and China also... the lack of homesickness and the feeling that I only have one reality. (The term "reality" sounds Sci-fi... unintentional.)

Sometimes I wonder if God is preparing me for something that will involve being away for a really long period of time. I wonder if God has made me this way because my life will be constantly in limbo. The biggest constant lesson for me has been trusting God, being content in Him wherever He has me go. I struggle with wanting to just be comfortable and stay put but I love new experiences and changes so much. It's really been great. And I wouldn't exchange the things I've learned. Definitely not for the "normal" life I expected once upon a time.

When I was younger, I thought my life would be figured out by the time I was twenty. I'd be pursuing that major, getting ready for that job, not in Beaufort. At twenty though, my life holds no consistent rhythm. I've been all over the place (meaning places I didn't expect to be) for indefinite periods of time. And right now, I'm in Beaufort. And I like it!

I'm perfectly content. Here is why: my life has a pattern of God working and showing Himself faithful. I trust Him and have no worries or concerns in Him. My contentedness is only a result of His working and moving in me and my response to that. I can't honestly claim that this life is mine - it belongs to my Lord. He made each "world" I've lived in and knows the length of time I'll be there.

I hope this verse (one of my favorites) is true of me, both now and for the rest of my life: ["they" refers to the Israelites but the principle of resting in Him is what I'm referring to] Whether it was two days or a month or a year that the cloud lingered over the tabernacle, staying above it, the sons of Israel remained camped and did not set out; but when it was lifted, they did set out. At the command of the Lord they camped, and at the command of the Lord they set out; they kept the Lord's charge according to the command of the Lord through Moses" - Numbers 9:22-23

He is faithful. I hope to be faithfully obedient to Him and His word.